always the hum of something
The world is noisy.
Sometimes it is quieter than other times, but there is always a hum of something.
Though there are times, like when I am deep in the bush away from the thick of it, where I close my eyes and I listen for the silence in between the sounds of life. I can feel my mind make room for the me who isn’t forever processing and analysing the input of constant sound.
In those moments, I realise that it isn’t necessarily the noise of the world that is ‘noisy’, but the constant chatter inside my mind.
In yogic philosophy, this is called citta vritti. The mind’s fluctuations.
How much that citta vritti is camouflaged by the noise of the world was highlighted for me in my first 10-day silent retreat.
The first three days were hard, my mind running wild and trying to grasp at any input it could, but around day four or five, I started to physically feel myself calm down. The only thing I had to do was…exist. I meditated- because that was the point, and what else was I going to do?
We don’t have a whole lot of control over the noise in the world, but we can, at times, move ourselves to a quiet space, change the environment, ask others to be quiet, or go on a silent retreat.
The noise our minds thought…there is no escape. In this space of external quiet calm where all my needs were met, I realised that the only person who can do anything about internal chatter is me.
As the days rolled on, I became more comfortable with being myself. Spending time listening to myself. I started to see parts of me that were hidden, that needed care, that were wonderful all on their own (without any external validation).
Silent spaces like this aren’t for everyone, and they aren’t for every stage of life. But there is so much to be said about carving time out to be present in your own, unique, human experience.
I invite you to give yourself this space of quiet.
Put down the phone, silence notifications, turn off the TV and just be. For 10 minutes.
There are so many things your deepest self is longing to share with you, if you only listen.
P.S I am hosting a Quiet Creation Workshop this Saturday, as well as leading the meditation modules for the Yin Yoga and Meditation Teacher Training, which starts July 24th. Please join me if either resonates.
